


It All Started With The Peanut Butter

by orphan_account



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Catra is a human person, Crack Ficx10, Cussing, F/F, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Humor, I’m sad enough as it is bros, Lots of that, The Author Regrets Nothing, This isn’t literature, it’s just a mess, let’s go lesbians, literally no angst, very gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-28
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-05 11:56:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21208130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: This isn’t really a fic to be taken seriously. I mean, for real guys. This is a crack fic that I wrote because I was bored and am really excited for season 4 of She-ra.Catra doesn’t give a fuck. Glimmer is a vsco girl. Everyone is gay(that’s the same damn thing as the show). Adora is flustered af. And idek y’all. Just get ready if you can because this all makes no sense, but I love it, so please read it....please(:





	It All Started With The Peanut Butter

Ok, so maybe throwing a jar of peanut butter out the window wasn’t the best idea Catra’s ever had, but who cares? That damn thing had it coming with its 2 tablespoons is one whole serving bullshit. What kind of person only eats two tablespoons of peanut butter? And what kind of person makes it so easy to break her apartment window? A fucking Karen, that’s who.

She’s so caught up in her anger that she barely even realizes when someone starts shouting from outside the window she threw the peanut butter out of.

“oI! wHo ThE hElL tHrEw ThIs?” A vsco voice exclaims.

Bamboozled, Catra walks over to the completely shattered window and looks down. It’s about 7:30 pm so the sun is just now going down, leaving a nice Sherbet colored lighting strewn about the whole city for a short while. Down on the walkway leading up to her apartment complex is her annoying ass neighbor, Sparkles. How she had not guessed who it was even after hearing her voice which, by the way, sounds like there’s permanently a hydro flask down her throat? That lil’ ho was wearing her usual attire, a giant, light purple hoodie to match her hair and some lightly colored, skinny jeans. Wow, soooo original. As if you don’t wear that same damn thing every day.

As the literal oompa loompa was t-posing to assert her dominance on the walkway below, Catra grabs her phone from her pocket and starts loudly playing Girls Like Girls, by Hayley Kiyoko. She turns the volume up loud enough to where Glitter-bomb could hear it and leans her head out over the shattered remains of her window. Sparkles immediately reacts, being the gay-ass bitch that she is, and starts doing the lesbian mating ritual seen in the Gravel to Tempo music video, also by Hayley Kiyoko.

Catra attempts to contain her laughter, but just physically can’t and begins cackling(of course it’s that scratchy laugh we all love). This snaps Glitter out of her trance and the small girl freezes up for a moment before glaring up at Catra.

“It was you,” she said with at least 16 ounces of spite in her voice. The purple girl’s eyes were raging almost as much as a ten year old playing Minecraft. Her hands were clenched at her sides like that one Arthur meme and Catra couldn’t give a single fuck. It was as if all the fucks were gone, out the window she had just broken a couple minutes ago. Then again, that’s how Catra usually is, so she supposes that not much has changed.

After a few moments passed by where Catra was trying to calm herself down, she manages to shout down to Glucose, “Can I get a helllllll yeah!?”

This only enrages the child further causing her to reply, “No, you smug beotch, I’ll have to pass.” Shimmer huffed and crossed her arms after apparently ‘defeating’ her foe.

“Hey now, I don’t need the sass,” Catra proclaimed with a sly grin planted on her face.

“God, don’t be such an ass.”

“Turns out, I can’t because, yah see, I never took that class.”

“O mi gawd, just shut up and tell me why there’s a peanut butter shit show happening on our front walkway.” She waved her arms about to indicate the scene around her. Catra hadn’t actually noticed the carnage until now, but she must say that it did look pretty brutal. Basically, picture a bloody murder scene but with peanut butter instead. 

“Oh yeah, that. I just thought I would do some redecorating and decided that throwing the peanut butter I borrowed from your apartment out the window would be the best place to start,” Catra matter-of-factly states.

This comment brings out the Karen inside of Glicky sticky and the girl starts screeching like a damn pterodactyl, “what the HECK CATRA!? This was mY pEaNuT bUtTeR? Why would you dO tHiS? It’s on the goddamn succulents too you JAGWEED!!!!!!!!”

Now that, that’s when all hell broke loose. Sirens began wailing in the distance and the lesbians with their plaids and their baggy hoodies came, fast-walking down the walkway, screeching something in the tone of gay panic. Catra never knows where they all come from, but they do and it’s like a stampede of women just going on a thriving determination. She herself felt the sudden pull to protect the plants she keeps so dearly to her heart. This was not a drill. The succulents...had been harmed. 

Catra ran across her apartment and threw open the dark brown door to the hallway. Paying no heed to the concerned looking residents, she is soon down the stairs and out the front door. Her mouth hung open when she saw the crowd of at least 12 mostly unnamed lesbians hovering over the succulents planted outside the apartment complex. There were some in tears, others were attempting to gently clean the peanut butter from the small plants’ leaves and one had just fainted. 

Catra feels a pang of guilt wash over herself as she watches the treacherous scene play out before her. She doesn’t know what she’s gonna do. The sounds around her soon become muffled and the only thing she remembers is being yelled at by Gripper and passing out face first, into the grassy lawn.

Catra wakes up, apparently, an hour later. She figures out pretty quickly that she’s laying down in her bedroom and that she’s no longer alone in her house. There are people’s voices coming from her living room so she rises up to investigate. That’s when she starts to feel her head pound from when she fell earlier. Ruh-roh raggy, that’s gonna leave a mark.

Rubbing her temples, she walks out of the bedroom and into the living room. This is also the room with the broken window, but whoever is in her apartment seemingly took it upon themselves to clean that ish up for her. Serves em’ right. Damn peasants.

Anyway, she scans the room and her gaze falls onto a group of four women standing and conversing in her small kitchen which is thoroughly visible from the living room. Now, this sight would typically spook anyone else, but with the whole peanut butter succulent ordeal that just happened, Catra knew anything was possible. She decides to clear her throat for 30 seconds straight(gay) to get their attention.

Once those fuckers are all giving her the attention she rightfully deserves, she slowly raises one fist into the air and, keeping intense eye contact with the whole lot of them, quietly, but proudly says “Let’s go lesbians.” 

Each one of them replies, in unison, “Let’s go lesbians.” The quote, a symbol of peace across nations.

Catra quickly recognized Glossy amongst the group as well as a couple other of her homies, Scorpia and Entrapta. She’s known those two lesbians since the glue-eating days. Annnd another thing is that Scorpia’s had an atrociously obvious crush on her since pUbErTy hit, but the feelings have never been reciprocated. It was honestly a real bruh moment when Scorpia told Catra about her feelings in their 8th grade year.

However there’s one person there that she’s not seen before. Someone with striking, blue eyes and the type of body that just makes you want to climb them...if that makes any sense. Their hair is pulled back into a tight ponytail, except for a little portion in the front which is pulled forward into some dumb poof. Who the fuck poofs their hair like that? Dumb poofy, blonde haired bitch. 

Before anyone could start talking over her, Glopper chopper zooms into the spotlight and says, “Catra, u=annoying, dumb and horrible for what you did to the succulents and what you did to my peanut butter, but I still want you to meet my new friend Adora.” The purple girl then walks over to the living room and plops down on the couch after finishing her statement. She flips on the tv and proceeds to not pay any attention to her surroundings.

Catra suddenly felt a strong urge to say something, so she did, “Heyyy, Adora.” The words came out much more sultry than intended but who the hell cares. Certainly not her because ‘Adora’ is now a little more wide-eyed than when Catra first saw her. 

“Uhm, hey,” the blonde responded, crossing her arms over her chest and putting her gaze anywhere but on Catra. Catra immediately thinks to herself, hm yep definently gay. 

The heterochromatic girl, giving absolutely no attention to the other three girls in the room(like usual), slowly walks over to Adora and playfully bops her hair poof a couple times before meandering over and flopping herself next to Shingles. 

The Friends theme song starts literally BLASTING in the background and nobody, including Catra, has any idea of what just happened or what’s about to happen in the near future.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks soooooo much for reading! I truly do appreciate it and am genuinely surprised that you made it this far. Anyway, please feel free to leave a kudos and comment your recommendations down below(;♥️😏


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